That day I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest, but I guess its partly my fault for not telling him how I felt. Actually, I have now realized its to late to even try and go to him and tell him everything I felt toward him. I haven’t talked to him in 3 weeks and the pain is still there, but im not alone I have made plenty of friends and my newest best friends name is Kin Obito, and he’s been a great help through everything that’s happened.  

“UDO         what is taking so long? We have to get to class or we’ll get in trouble again. I’m not waiting forever; I’m coming in.” he said opening the dorm door. He walked in and saw that I was still asleep. “UDO   Wake up, damn it  We need to get to class.” he said this while shaking me furiously.

“Mmm... go away. Im not going today.” I mumbled. Then he pulled he covers off of me and slapped my bare back, hard.

“I don’t care what you say; your going to go to class and like it. Now get up and dressed before I slap you again.” he commanded and I did what he said cause I didn’t want to be hit again.

“Geez, you have anger issues you know that right?”

“No I don’t. I just hate it when you stay up late drinking and partying. It stops you from going to class.”

“Well, it’s not like anyone else cares, so maybe you shouldn’t care either.” I said starting to cry.
“Oh my god  I know what this is you’re still upset about Mamoru aren’t you? Get over it; he doesn’t want you and never will, and if he did he would have come o you and said something.”

“WHAT ? No im not. Im completely over him and haven’t thought of him in at least two weeks.” I said, obviously not very convincingly.

“Don’t lie to me Udo. Im not as stupid as I look, and I know you still want to be with him. GOD  Why cant you just admit it... you love him still?” Kin said in his usual grumpy voice when we talk about stuff like this. I got out of my bed and walked to the closet door when Kin grabbed my arm tightly.

“Don’t walk away from me you... you... ASSHOLE   Im your friend and everything, but I wont be ignored ” I stared at him in shock; this was a totally different Kin, and it kinda scared me.”

“Fine, I wont ignore you... anymore.” I told him quietly as I walked him over to my bed. I sat down and motioned Kin to come sit next to me.

Kin’s face went crimson as he said, “WAH   No way am I doing that with you. Why ask me to do that?”

*total uke face* “I didn’t say anything I just sat down. Why are you so mean to me?” I said teasing him. He walked over to me and sat down; I laid my head on his shoulder and snuggled up to him.

“You don’t have to go to class today, but im not gonna let you miss your class on Thursday. Do you understand me, Udo?”

I grabbed his hand and asked, “Will you stay with me today, Kin? Don’t let me be alone, or I might cry.”

“Quit being stupid. Just cause im letting you stay in does not mean im missing my classes.” then he bopped me on head. He walked to the door and was about to leave when I ran to him and wrapped my arms around.

“Don’t leave me alone. I need you here to take care of me, and so I can take care of you.” when I said this all of sudden I felt Kin’s hand go across my face and then I was on the floor.

“BAKA    You always do this; you try and take advantage of me, or anybody you know. Im not your puppet Udo I have feelings and you are just heartless. Go and torture somebody else.” and he was about to punch me in the face when he saw me start to cry on the floor. He helped me to my bed and sat next to me.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Udo, why cant you just forget him and love some other guy? I’ll stay with you today, but im not letting you get dirty with me. How bout that?”

“Gomen. I really am messed up. Thank you Kin, and I know I wont dirty you up.” I said leaning on his strong muscular chest.  And he stayed with me all day and he didn’t even want me to do anything to him which was a breath of fresh air.

Ever since I stopped talking to Mamuro people just hang with me because im depressed and apparently easy to have sex with.  Now that it’s happened so many times im just assuming that everyone want me to do it with them, so I try and seduce them to make myself I want to actually have sex with anyone who asks. That night I realized I was lucky to have Kin as my best friend.

That night- Kin was still in Udo’s dorm room>

“Are you sure you are gonna be ok by yourself? Cause I’ll stay with you here tonight if you want me to.” he said so softly but his face was turning pink.

My eyes widened when I heard him say this. I walked over to him and gave him a hug. “Im fine Kin. Im sorry I made you miss all your classes just to be with me.” I was smiling when I let go of him, and I couldn’t even remember the last time I had smiled.

“Your smiling. I like this face on you better than your sad face...” he looked away from me, “it’s a lot cuter on you too.”

I had never heard him stuff like that so it made me smile even more. “Thank you.... say if you want to you can stay. I mean my roommate will be back in like 20 minutes and you wont have anywhere to sleep.”

“I know, and I was thinking about that... maybe I could sleep in you bed with you. I mean you don’t have to let me, but it was a thought. What do you think?”

“I would be ok with that. Are you sure you want to sleep in the same bed cause I move around a lot and might push you off?” I said smiling super big.

“Im fine with that, but don’t hurt me to much. I bruise kinda easily.” he said so shyly that I thought at that moment he was super adorable and wanted to hold him and not let go.